The Heartfelt Truth
by SirAmbala
Summary: A moment of peace brings reality craahing down. What will silence do for one diva's confused heart?


**For three months after the chandeliers fall I stayed with Raoul. For three months I allowed him to fill my mind with nothing but bad thoughts toward my angel. For three months I sat in his embrace quivering in fear for my own life. My angel had lied to me and he nearly killed me with the chandelier. After three months Raoul left my presence for the first time to take care of some business, and in that short amount of time I came to a conclusion of sorts. For the first time i looked back on all that had happened without Raoul giving his own opinions. Without him I was able to look on all past events with my mind alone. The conclusion I came to was not one that I was expecting. I realized that everything I has felt toward those events was influenced by Raoul.**

It was then that I made the best decision I had made my entire life. I had three months until the opera opened again, and I was going to take that time to sort out my confused heart. When I told Raoul that I was going to go away for a bit he was none to happy. He tried to convince me one every way he knew how to stay, but I knew I had to do this. If my heart was as confused as my mind I wasn't doing anyone any good, so I took my few belongings and found a place to hide out for a few months.

I ended up staying in and inn on the outskirts of Paris. I made it a point to not tell Raoul where I was lest he try and change my mind. I was grateful that upon arrival the inn keeper didn't ask any questions and just showed me to a small but nice room. In the weeks that followed I stayed holed up in my room with just myself and my thoughts. It was the first time in a long while that I was able to form my own opinions with no one influencing them. When I first left I had thought that I would spend much of my time missing Raoul. Instead I caught myself looking at the floor length mirror in my room with a look of longing. If I am perfectly honest with myself Raoul was not in my thoughts except for a scant few times. The only times he was is when I realized what a terrible person I was for not thinking of him!

It was then that I finally turned back to the problem of my heart. Logic told me I should not even be here and with Raoul instead. Yet here I was thinking of my angel and wondering how he was doing. My mind kept going to that night on the roof and the pain I was sure I had caused my angel. I knew that he was there that night, and yet I had said all those lies to Raoul. I was an emotional wreck that night and had run in fear to a familiar presence. Now after sorting out my feelings I have found that I am not scared of my angel. His temper can be rather scary, but each time I have been it's victim it was because of my own foolishness. Thinking back now it all seemed so childish!

With a new sense of peace in my mind and heart I moved from the bed and laid my head on the cool glass of the mirror. I had been in hiding for nearly two months and had little over a month until the Masquerade. I knew that once that month was up Raoul would be right by my side filling my ears with his lies. I of course did not blame him for his feelings toward my angel, because he did not know him as I did. I had only helped further his lies with my own stupidity. Well that was all changing. It was time for me to stop acting like a child and fix this mess I have caused. Raoul would need dealing with, but my angel was more important at the moment. That and I still couldn't bare to see the look of heartbreak on Raouls face when I told him the engagement was off.

The inn keeper was surprised to see me going out, but said it would be good for my health to get some fresh air. If only she knew just where I was planned on heading.

After a short cab ride I found myself infont of the place I had called home most my life. It stood proud and holding much hope for me just as it had all those years ago. Quickly I made my way through the lobby and to my dressing room. I was lucky everyone was on holiday so the theatre was empty. Once in my dressing room I dropped the small bag I had brought with me and locked the door. I did not was any visitors from the world of light. It was then that I faced my biggest obstacle getting through the mirror. I went to it and started feeling around the edges. It appeared to be a normal mirror, but I knew it was a portal to the world of unending night.

It took some playing with but I finally found the hidden lever and watched as the mirror swung open. Grabbing a lantern off of the wall I made my way down to the house by the lake. I think this is the one time I was happy my angel did not sense me coming, because the sight I made would have made even him go into a laughing fit. It had taken some effort but I had managed to pole the boat to the bank of his house. Unfortunately I have never poked a boat before so the spectacle I made was sure to be funny.

Once I got the boat tied off I took many deep breaths and prepared myself the best I could to face my angel again. Feeling as calm as I was ever going to be I knocked on the door. I waited some time and he didn't open the door, so I tried pushing it open and found it to be unlocked.

As soon as I entered the house I heard music coming from the music room. Following the beautiful melody that could only be his I found him hunched over his pipe organ playing and writing furiously. I wasn't sure if I should bother him but knew I would not work up this small amount of courage I had now.

"Angel"

All movement he was doing stopped but he didn't turn to face me.

"My mind really does enjoy tormenting me. Now I even hear he here in the house."

"Angel you are not hearing thing, I am really here."

His shoulders stiffened but he still seemed reluctant to turn around.


End file.
